I understand that and I believe the same as you do that we should do it for a reason, and yes I think that everything that we do in life is for a reason. the universe exists for a reason as does the sun etc..well you know what i mean and it is only stupid for me to continue writing about things you already know..well we all have possess this knowledge but many of us have "lost" it.
I realize that you have been through alot with shrooms and I respect that. You should recognize that I have to enhanced knowledge through psy-manifestation and experience with psychedelics, my favorite "teacher" has though been cannabis and mescaline although I havent used any of them for as long periods as you jave used shrooms and I love shrooms but havent been using them so much either and about that ego death you talked about I have experienced it with both sacred mushrooms and with salvia divinorum x40.... Even sometimes when I meditate deep under the influence of cannabis I also lose my ego and feel the connection with the energies of the universe and or maybe beyond...like the total emptiness of me where truth lies. I dont exist but in the same time I do, where all ego ends total freedom begins, life is the point and you make your meaning.
For me its been, as I grow stronger it becomes the other way around for me,I seem to need less and less substances to reach the deepness of that reality. I meditate, I am into Gi gong and other kinds of martial arts, have gained lots of self knowledge with the help of psychedelics releasing the boundaries within, but since I have opened them up and found my center I can go very deep without psy and of course when I do use psy it has become even more powerful now than before. And about those flash backs when you stare, well for me its been more than just flashbacks ,, I dont have to focus nor stare anymore to "see" the energies and the fantasy realm of me. I could tell you more and I would really like to meet someone like you who takes this for real, I have so much to share with ppl with the same kind of passion but like you and the rest of us we all have secrets:=)
Like you said in another response we are all different and so we all know our own ways as I know mine
It is nice to have ppl out there that takes the knowledge of this seriously since that too is being lost more and more in this system of ignorance.
Thanks for the reply always nice to discuss this...
Peace-